Thursday, August 26, 2010

My marriage is doomed!

I broke my Butter Bell yesterday. This. Is. Not. Good.

Some of you may be thinking, "What the heck is a Butter Bell?"  I get asked that question a lot when people see the contraption on my kitchen counter.  My answer is always the same:

"It's a marriage saver!"

Ok, I understand how truly odd that sounds, but it's true.  Every marriage has one of those constant arguing points.  Usually it isn't anything that really matters ("I can't believe you left your socks on the floor...AGAIN!").  However, insignificant as it is, it keeps resurfacing to cause strife. Early in our marriage we used to argue over butter.  Yes, butter.

We used to be margarine people.  That is, until I read that margarine closely resembles plastic.  The stuff really isn't healthy for you.  So, I confidently switched to butter for the good of our family!  Except there was one minor problem with my good intentions. I could never remember to set the butter out to soften in time for dinner.  My husband, the bread man that he is, was never happy throwing chunks of better across his dinner rolls.  And the arguing would begin. 

"Why can't you remember to set the butter out?  How hard is that?  Start buying spread!"
"But I'm just trying to keep our family healthy!"
"My bread is ripped!"
"Deal with it, ok? It's just bread!  How selfish!"
"No, YOU deal with remembering to put the butter out!  It's such a little thing you can do for me!"

Of course, it never stayed with just butter.  Each of us would bring up whatever grievances were lying just below the surface and soon were arguing about other things. It really wasn't good dinner conversation.

After months of this, I found my solution.  The Butter Bell!  The Butter Bell allows you to keep your butter on the kitchen counter at room temperature without it spoiling.  You put cold water in the bottom piece and the butter in the top portion.  The water seals the top and prevents air exposure, keeping it fresh.  All you need to do is change the water out every few days, which I actually can remember to do!  Instantly, our dinnertime arguments vanished!

Of course, now my Butter Bell is broken.  It has saved me years of turmoil and counseling bills.  I think I might just have a special service for it and bury it in the backyard next to our deceased gecko.  

Now, my marriage is doomed!  At least, it is for the next 7-10 days while the replacement is in transit.

*Amazon affiliate link


Debra said...

I'd offer to send you mine... but it sounds like you will be okay.

I need to pull mine out and USE IT. It doesn't work in the summer, though, as it is just too hot. We end up with a melted butter/water mess. :(

But I really do need to use it the rest of the year.

Anonymous said...

Where do you buy a butter bell?

Heidi said...

Debra - we had a week or two this summer where I ended up with a watery mess, mostly because I let the butter sit out too long before putting it in the bell. I was able to salvage it enough to get spreadable butter though!

Katy - I buy mine from Amazon. The one I had is linked in the post, but they have others too. :)

Heidi said...

I never knew there was such a thing, but I need one because I'm anti-margarine/plastic around here too. Really, I don't eat butter, but my family does. Hmmm . . . I don't understand how this thing works, but I do have a $20 Amazon card to use . . .

Heidi said...


The water seals the butter and keeps air from making it rancid. I store mine by the kitchen sink so I remember to change the water every few days. We love butter around here!

Rachel said...

Funny post. We used to keep the butter in a cupboard-no butter bell. ( We now use milk free spread due to allergies in the family.) It really takes a long time for butter to go bad. However, I live in Western Washington and there are only a handful of days it gets so hot I would need to put it back in the fridge so it wouldn't melt everywhere.

Just stopping by on the blog walk.